Self Humiliation
by blacktears
Summary: Relena overhears something that makes her shave her head and don hidious(er) clothing. Yaoi. Relena bashing.


Disclaimer: this is so repedative..everyone knows that none of this belongs to me, right? Thought so...   
Note: This is kind of, really dumb. Oh well. If you can think of a better name tell me, k? thanx.   
  
  


#### Self Humiliation

  
  
"Oh, Heero," the female voice and giggle made Relena Peacecraft stop in her tracks. It was coming from her Heero's room-what the hell was some chick doing in her Heero's room?!? "Do you really like it?" Seathing, she started towards the closed door in order to break it down and accost the slut that was obviously coming on to her Heero.....What she heard next, once again made her stop.   
  
"Yeah, babe," Heero's voice said clearly. "Bald is such a turn on for me.....it makes me wonder, I mean, if your HEAD is bald then what will your-" his voice dropped to a whisper that Relena couldn't hear. Inching forward, Relena pressed one ear against the door, hoping that she might be able to pick out the ellusive words.   
  
There was another high pitched giggle from the other side of the door. "Oh you horny boy, you!" The slutty girl giggled. "I'd never imagine, with you being so stony and all that you could get so aroused so quick!" Relena's eyes narrowed. SHE never had that effect on her Heero-how the hell did some other girl manage it?!   
  
"As I said," Heero was saying. "It's the bald thing," Bald? Heero couldn't be serious...but he sounded it...bald? "Duo did a great job shaving it.....And then theres those coveralls...." he sighed, sounding all too content.   
  
"But they're so BAGGY," the girl whined. "And yellow and orange really aren't my colors..." Yellow and orange baggy coveralls? Well, that was ceratinly different from anything that Relena had...   
  
"Naw," Heero replied to the other girl's words. "They look great on you....though I'd bet you look better without ANYthing on...." he sounded mischevious. Relena almost went cross-eyed with rage.   
  
"Oh Heero," the other girl sighed and then there was silence, punctuated by a few little moans.   
  
Infuriated beyong belief, Relena nearly knocked the door down-then a thought entered her head. She now knew a few of Heero's turn ons.............she'd been trying all the wrong things! Now that she knew, she could change...Heero would definatly choose her over some slut, especially if she found out ALL his weaknesses.....   
  
With a mischevious grin of her own, the Peacecraft started down the hall to find Duo.   
  
~*~   
  
"Duo?" Relena poked her head inside Duo's messy room, scanning it for any sign of the braided pilot's presence. He wasn't there. Damn.   
  
With a sigh, the young woman straightened and turned away from the empty room, closing the door behind her. She was just starting down the hallway, when she saw Duo coming up the stairs, and a grin spread on her face.   
  
"Duo!" she said happily, running over to him.   
  
"Hi, Relena-san," Duo greeted her, pausing while she stopped in front of her, her long hair swinging. "What can I do for you?"   
  
"Duo, I need to ask you a big favor," Relena said. She wasn't comfortable with the thought of losing her hair, but if it would make Heero happy, she would do it happily.   
  
"Okay, shoot," Duo flashed her a lopsided grin and leaned against the wall.   
  
"Um," Relena turned her eyes downward. "Could I ask you in private?"   
  
Giving her a slightly odd look, the American nodded. "Sure, come on into my room," Duo led the Peacecraft into his room, kicking aside dirty clothing as he got inside. "Sit down," he invited, gesturing to the bed, which was miraculously clear of stuff.   
  
Relena smiled slightly as Duo shut the door, and waited until the pilot had taken a seat before starting. "Well, um, I overheard a Heero say something to some girl, about how you shaved her head and all," she said, blushing and looking at her fingers which were wound tightly around each other in her laps-it was so embarrassing to admit that she easedropped, and even more so to ask what she needed to ask!   
  
Duo nodded. "Claire? Yeah, I did that a few days ago...." So the bitch's name was Claire, huh? Well, it was probably good that Relena didn't know her.... "What do you need?"   
  
Relena swallowed. "Ineedyoutoshavemyheadtoo." She said quickly and softly.   
  
Duo's eyebrows shot up. "Your not serious." he said flatly.   
  
Blushing even worse, Relena nodded. "I am," she said, her voice practically a whisper. There was silence as Duo looked at her oddly again-Relena waited, her fingers gripping each other even tighter now, with little patience.   
  
"Okay." Duo said at last, with a sigh. "If your sure, I'd be happy to shave your head for you."   
  
A small, small smile flit over Relena's lips. "Thank you," she murmered.   
  
Duo nodded. "No prob. When do you want me to do it?"   
  
"Well," Relena said, still uncomfortable. "Now?" She glanced up at Duo in time to catch a doubious look cross his face. "Please?" She begged before he had a chance to say anything. "If you don't do it now, I might lose my nerve,"   
  
"Relena," Duo leaned over, his voice soft and surprisingly compassionate. "Are you CERTAIN that you want to do this?"   
  
With more resolve than she felt, Relena nodded. "Yes, I do. Would you do it now-please?" She gave him her best puppy-dog eyes.   
  
Duo sighed and nodded. "Sure, why not," He stood up. "Come into the bathroom, I'll do it in there."   
  
Relena stood on shaky legs and followed Duo across the room into the small, adjorning bathroom. He flicked the switch, and bright lights came on, reflecting off the tile and mirror.   
  
Duo gestured to the edge of the bathtub. "Sit down, with your feet in the tub," he told her, reaching for a pair of scissors. Relena's eyes widened at them, but she carefully stepped over the rim of the tub and sat down.   
  
Duo squated behind her, and gently took the clips out of her honey colored tresses. His fingers were gentle from practice handling his own long hair. He carefully put the clips aside and took a clump of her hair in his hands. "Last chance, Relena," he said.   
  
Relena shook her head minutely. She was not backing out.   
  
"Okaay,"   
  
Relena squinted her eyes shut tightly as she felt the American run his fingers through her hair again. And then came the alarming clip of the scissors, and Duo took his hand away, long locks of hair in his fist. He deposeted the hair into the waist basket and turned back to Relena's head.   
  
Relena kept her eyes shut through the entire process, chanting "There's no turning back now, this is for Heero," over and over again in her head. At last, Duo put the scissors down.   
  
Relena opened her eyes, one hand snaking up to feel her now-uneven hair that didn't even hang to her ears completely. Duo caught her hand, and forced it back into the girl's lap.   
  
"I'm almost done," he assured her, taking up his electric razor and putting it carefully to her head. He turned it on, and the last of Relena's hair began falling on the clean tile floor.   
  
After a short eternity, Duo lay aside the razor and stood. "I'm done," his voice was soft, and he reached a hand out to help Relena stand.   
  
Once on her feet, Relena turned, her eyes locking with her own reflection in the mirror-she was bald. This is for Heero! This is for Heero! She shouted at herself without saying a word, and slowly calmed down-she looked so different, though! She didn't like it a bit....   
  
"What do you think?" Duo asked.   
  
Relena turned to him and forced a smile. "I like it, Duo, thank you," she stepped out of the tub and, with another forced smile, hurried out of the room, leaving Duo to sweep up the remains of her hair.   
  


~*~

  
  
Relena sat on her bed, one hand on her head, tears forming in her eyes. She couldn't believe what she'd done!   
  
_"Bald is such a turn on for me....."_ Heero's words came back to her, and her resolve returned. Tightening her mouth into a firm line, Relena stood. Now she just needed to proper attire....   
  


~*~

  
  
The next morning, Relena-clad in baggy coveralls of an obnoxious fusia color (it was the best she could find), proudly sporting her bald head, came down to breakfast.   
  
Reactions in the kitchen verried from wide-eyed surprise, to utterly astonished and appauled.   
  
Duo-who had, of course, seen Relena's head-stared at the girl's attire with saucer eyes, and even paused in his eating. Trowa muttered an "Oh my GOD!," while Quatre-who was cooking-burnt his hand on the frying pan without even noticing it. Wufei just stared. Zechs and Noin (who were just visiting the Winner mansion, like Relena) broke their kiss off and stared at Relena in shock (it was the first time that they had actually broken apart since they'd arrived). And Heero-Heero dropped his fork and his jaw.   
  
"Um," Relena blushed as she took a seat. "Good morning?"   
  
Suddenly the kitchen erupted into noise.   
  
"Relena, what did you DO to your-"   
  
"Oh my god, your hair! And how-"   
  
"Onna! What a baka you-"   
  
"Why, Relena, why your-"   
  
"Argh!" (Quatre realizing that he had burnt himself)   
  
"Is this supossed to be some sort of-"   
  
"Hair?!"   
  
"Baka!"   
  
"Urusai, everyone!" Relena at last bellowed at the top of her lungs. Shocked, everyone in the kitchen fell silent (except Quatre, who was whimpering slightly because of his poor hand) and everone sat down once again (except Quatre, who was taking care of his hand, and Trowa, who was helping his koi).   
  
Relena slowly turned her eyes to Heero, who was still staring in shock. "Heero, I did this for you-do you like it?" She asked in a soft voice.   
  
"You did it for-"   
  
"What? That baka is-"   
  
"Why would Heero-"   
  
"Shut up!" Relena shouted again, against the noise that had once again consumed the room. Her eyes were fixed on Heero, who remained silent. "Heero?" she asked softly.   
  
Heero shook his head. "Like it?" his voice was scorn-filled. "Relena, it's hideous. I don't see where you got the impression that I'd like it, but I most certainly do NOT,"   
  
Relena felt her eyes filling with salty tears, and she glanced over at Duo real quickly, who looked as astonished as anyone there. "But what about...Claire?"   
  
"Claire?" Heero sounded puzzled. "The technition? What about her?"   
  
"Well, she-" Relena trailed off as she realized that somehow she'd been mistaken. Hot tears fell down her face as she flung herself to her feet and ran out of the room. She would NEVER be able to face Heero again! NEVER!!!!   
  


~*~

  
  
Back in the kitchen, the pilots all stared as Relena ran, weeping back to her room. Slowly, twin, malicious smiles spread over Duo and Heero's faces.   
  
"It worked," Heero sounded almost numb.   
  
The other pilots stared at the two in surprise. "YOU made her do that?" Zechs asked at last.   
  
"No, not really," Duo answered in an evasive way. "We just made sure she over heard some leading things....like false Heero turn ons and stuff..." he shrugged slightly.   
  
"Duo!" Noin spoke up, glaring at the young man, then turning to look at Heero. "Heero, thats so mean!"   
  
"Why did you do that?" Trowa asked softly, at the same time as he and Quatre-who's hand was now bandage-sat back down at the table.   
  
"Why?" Duo spoke up again. "She's a stalker! She wouldn't leave my Heero-kun alone," He gave Heero a lusty look, that caused the perfect soldier to (gasp!) blush.   
  
"You could have just told her you two were together, and that you weren't interested," Quatre offered, sounding slightly annoyed with the approach the other pilots had taken to the situation.   
  
Heero nodded. "You don't think I tried? We tried EVERYTHING, but she just couldn't get it through that thick skull of hers." He glanced at Duo, who was still giving him a look that said multitudes. "I hope this one works...." He turned to glance at Zechs, his face resuming it's normal blank mask. "Hope you aren't too mad, Zechs,"   
  
"And if you are, fuck off!" Duo interjected (he didn't have to worry about getting hurt by the Lightning Count-not when his koi was the Perfect Soldier).   
  
Zechs looked dazed for a moment, then broke out laughing. "Mad? No...I think she deserved it!" Gawks met his statement. "Little bitch," he muttered, then looked at Noin, who still sat on his lap. She grinned and excepted his unspoken invitation to stick her toungue down his throat.   
  
As though that was some sort of signal, the other pilots exchanged one dazed glance before all returned to normal in the Winner mansion kitchen.   
  
  
  
  
  
Sorry-it sucks (especially the weak ending), I know, but I just felt like doing something like that. ^_^


End file.
